She was a perfectly healthy baby girl the whole time. Delicious heartbeat and her little bum sat on the outside of my right ribs.

I kept getting my cervix checked in those last few weeks of appointments because I felt like she was coming early and everyone was validating that. (Full moon, she's sitting low, you look bigger all of a sudden, etc.) The day I hit 39 weeks, I had it checked again and went on to our work chili cook-off since it hadn't dilated or effaced much. I'd been up all night with contractions that stopped by morning and I wore jeans for the first time my entire pregnancy that day, fastened together with a hair tie.  

We had the chili, I had extra of the spicy, then we worked the rest of the day. I'm for certain I had a beer at work or went home and had one. Again, up all night with contractions and then 'bloody show'. Midwife said don't come in until you fill a pad with liquid. Well, have you seen the modern day pads? You can wear those things for a month and they'd never leak! So, by the time my husband convinced me to call her again, I think she was kinda mad at me. 

I'd been laboring in this knee length black sleeveless dress for a few days, using a belly band as a bra. I threw on a pair of tennies, we grabbed my bag that I'd decided to pack after that bloody show, and headed out the door. We get over there and she breaks my water the rest of the way. It had been a slow leak. She then tells us that I have to be induced because it's been broken too long and we need to get the baby out for safety. We go across the street, check in, and lay there in bed waiting on IV's and heavy contractions.

She gave me the pep talk before it all started. "Hardly any women get induced without an epidural. It's going to hurt more than usual. You don't have to be a hero." She knew I wanted  a natural, pain medication-free birth. 

I tried. for three hours I tried and it was INTENSE. No one was allowed to touch me, I didn't want to get in any other position except hang tight and brace myself, and there was a lot of moaning. Midwife comes in and says I NEED to get the epidural to get the baby out. My cervix was not relaxing. 

My cervix basically disappeared in one hour while I laid there, while Daniel went out to give the family updates. My nurse, Kelly, comes in and tells me to practice pushing as we wait for the midwife to come back. But I was way too good at pushing. We sat there for another hour with Eva's head crowning, chatting with Kelly about her teenagers and my tattoos.

Eva was born. She was a perfect, dark headed baby full of joy and sleepy-headedness. Mama was tired and had a great experience. But it could have been better now that I've had time to think about it.

With a doula.